“Justice is better than chivalry if we cannot have both.”

I am single.
No, wait, I am REALLY single.
And before all you say "You're single because your a fucking pig". Hear me out.

Chivalry is dead, and women laid the final fucking blow. You see, I really am a romantic guy. I open doors. I buy drinks. I write love sonnets. I always make sure the girl... gets hers. Because as my favorite poet Erik Ott says, I'm a boy, and I'm GOING to get mine.

But women you need to decide, do you want to vote, or do you not wanna get punched.

This is all metaphoric, I don't condone violence in the bedroom, unless that's your thing. I mean, There is an absolute ridiculous stereotype in this country, which is all I can handle right now because those muslim/ninja outfits blow my mind. Women have to be delicate, furiously defensive, loving, and strong. And they have to do it while looking like a playboy model. Men, equally, have to be macho, love football, protect their woman, and be sensitive 1 week out of the month, while never having a beer gut.

You see boys are brought up with trucks, and toy tools. And girls get dolls and tea sets. Boys have to walk it off and girls are coddled. And since children we are giving these stations in life and they define us.

Until middle school.

Which I left.

Twice.

Where gender becomes more of an issue, and kids, who are naturally rebellious want reasons. Boys start getting balls, girls get to bleed. And all along the way hormones are driving the car. This has nothing to do with chivalry, but it's setting up a valid point that from the beginning of our individual existences we are taught to be a certain way.

I never had a girls are icky phase. I saw them, I liked them, I WANTED them. And thus
a nice guy was born. I listened to them, bought them them things, went shopping with them. And then I got to hear all about their boyfriends. And so on. And i started to become a little bitter s.o.b.

Most girls had that platonic friend in early development through High School (words I hate saying). The kind of guy that would stay up all night on the phone with them, giving advice, and always playing devils advocate. Truth is, I really was an open floormat for these legions of girls, I so easily fell for. I practically laid down in the mud, while diving on bullets of rejection, and holding their purse. And like many over weight/under self esteem young men, I learned the most valuable piece
of advice, Girls like boys, who treat them, like SHIT.

WAIT! Don't get defensive, I know there's a few of you that don't feel this way. But you're all taken. You're all with someone who grabbed you BEFORE you got to that level.

And if you're not, you're waiting for Brad Pitt, or Vin Diesel or Harry Potter and the Jonas Brothers to come give you the 5 some of your life.

So every weekend, I watch thousands of 18-28 year old chicks flowing in and out of bars, and clubs and venues, searching for that perfect popped coller, gelled hair, muscular DOUCHE BAG. Or the half hair covered face, ked wearing, girl jean sporting, HIPSTER. And every blind date I go on, or every friend lunch, when I try to be myself, I see the girls eyes become more and more bored. They want a challange. And I want to make their life easy.

I know how hard it is for you all to deal with the unfair stereotypes that pop media thrusts upon you like a turret ridden date rapist with a.d.d.

But I promise it's not as hard as being a generally nice guy with your best intentions at heart in the world of frat douchbaggery, Edward Cullen loving, Adrian Broady looking, architecture. So, in my most recent date-capades, I see myself un-knowingly, but in totally involuntary being meaner. Making rude comments. And expecting things from girls, I ought not expect. And it's working. Slowly. But I can't bring myself to date under false pretenses.
I am a great guy.
I do want to do nice things for you.
I don't care what you look like.
I don't want to put your snatch pics online.
I want to cuddle.
I want to hold hands.
I don't want to donkey punch you.

I know young girls can be immature, just as young guys can, and in our thirties we're all gonna wanna settle down, and if a few of you can hold your looks and keep off some of the major STD's you're gonna find a nice guy eventually. And wonder, where he's been all your life. And feel cared for. And loved. Just be careful, because we are a dying breed. If you turn us all now, and bitter us to you, not all of you will get a nice guy. You'll get the same Asshole you're with now. Just a few years older. And fatter. And greyer. And you'll remember you're platonic friend, with envy.

-Ruckus